Sometimes I just want to be alone. Other times, I want some attention from others. I know it has something to do with every new diagnosis I hear from these doctors. It’s like a never ending feeling of sorrow. It feels like no one can relate to me either. I see that people only do what is necessary to try to attempt to help me. No one goes beyond their job duties. Doctors do what doctors do. Nurses do what they must do. Home health aids believe they are CNAs and CNAs believe they are nurses. Everybody believe they are above actual work. And people hardly put in any work because they believe they are underpaid. People are underpaid because work is not being done..
People are just not honest caring people anymore. People do not understand that everybody will need somebody one day. People, in my opinion do not keep their word and because of the disappointment of having no one to trust..people develop depression or anxiety or both. Sadly I have both. I have depression and anxiety. I don’t take anything for anything besides my arthritis for real. I believe there are other less harmful more natural ways to ease symptoms of both.
I sometimes question Him about alot of things. Why’d He choose me out of everyone to go through all of this. Then I’d answer myself and say because He knew I could handle whatever is thrown my way. I think I’m handling having ataxia good, I am doing just good though. Good enough to make it through the day. I dread the new days though 🤷🏽♀️ I believe that if everyone were more honest, and caring, people who were trustworthy that alot of dis-ease in the body wouldn’t even exist. But that is another discussion for another day.
I’m afraid to go to the neurologist though because I am afraid of what they would say. I already know that my cerebellum is shrinking, I understand that I have ataxia, arthritis, anxiety, depression, nystagmus..I already know these things and I honestly can’t take anymore bad news. Seriously 🗣 get back to being people