To be continued..please read

Dear you guys, are you listening or am I praying for my health? Am I talking to myself? I know that You are always around. Patting my back, wiping my face, doing mad shit to cheer me up when I am down. I get emotional but the tears, they do not fall. I be thinking of ways to be at peace n all. I pray long. Try to eat well. And of course try to grow strong. But I feel like I am losing that battle. I no longer care about that shit, since losing my moms an all. I’m sorry for cussing but that’s how a real one feel. My moms ain’t raise no “scared to speak up” ass child. She raised a woman that ain’t scared to keep it real. My moms was the realest on my team. She had a sweet ass smile but fuck with her child, she’ll instantly turn mean. Seeee why you had to do that? You couldn’t accept her being nice? You would rather her beat ya ass or slice ya ass with a knife? But nothing never was taken that far, because I always got respect and so did my mom. But I can’t say that now..the respect didn’t last that long. I got sick and so did she. Niggas saw that we needed help, bitches knew that we were physically weak. I saw punk shit..selfishness..I saw carelessness in people. I saw weak shit..bitch-ass shit..straight gay shit in people. I saw mad shit that I did not like but all I did was pray. I didn’t have time to put up a fight. Dear you guys, are you listening or am I praying for my health? Am I talking to myself?